Happy 4th, Public Enemies and a New Music Selections!

Happy Independence Day, readers! I hope you're all having a wonderful, relaxing weekend. I started my day off seeing "Public Enemies." It's pretty good, two paws up. But let's face it, they could dress Johnny Depp and Christian Bale up in 1930's garb to read the phone book for two hours and I would still pay $10 to go see it. Then cry that they were robbed of Oscars. The movie looks fabulous. The clothes, the cars, the iron and marble banks all look fabulous. Guys will like it because many things get blown up with tommy guns. Women will like it because, hey, Johnny Depp and Christian Bale.

It's been a while since I've made a music recommendation, so I thought I'd let you in on my last two downloads. First up are The Black Keys, "Attack and Release." Sort of reminds me of The Black Crowes, a little White Stripes, and some Lynard Skynard tossed in a blender. Trippy southern rock. "I Got Mine" is a bluesy rock song similar to "Ball and a Biscut" off of The White Stripes "Elephant" (which is possibly my favorite rock album of all time). "Things Ain't Like They Used To Be" is really a song about breaking up, but I can just imagine it playing during a boozy slow dance, ten minutes after last call when you really don't want to go home and no one else is left in the bar. Something about that song is so sexy.

Next up is Left Lane Cruiser, "Bring Yo' Ass to the Table." If it were possible to wear out MP3's I would have done it by now because I've listened to nothing since. I'm really at a loss at how to describe them. They are a little blues, a little punk, a little bluegrass, a little rockabilly, and a little heavy metal. "Mountain Top" (off their first album "Gettin' Down On It") even has a little rap sort thing going on in the middle of it. I seriously can't get enough of them. It's a toss up for my favorite song, but I think I have to go with "Big Momma." How can you not love a song with lyrics like, "Big butt all up and down my mashed potatoes"? Honestly, I don't even know what the means, but it's funny. There are plenty of growling vocals, jangly steel guitars, and driving drums to keep everyone happy. This is one of those bands that I can't figure out why they aren't more popular. It's really only two guys which just blows me away. Straight to the point- those two guys make a really large sound. I can't get enough of them and hope they put out more stuff soon.

Woo-hoo!!

Dontcha just love when you go get the mail and a check is unexpectedly waiting for you?? Remember my little adventure with the popcorn kernel and the dentist? I guess insurance decided to pay for it after all. So waiting in my mail was a refund from the dentist! Granted it's only $47, but it's $47 I didn't have a few minutes ago.

On another note, went to the zoo with my niece and nephew yesterday. I got a ton of cute pictures. I will not mention that I forgot to put sunblock on my chest (wore a v-neck t-shirt) and my chest is now super red. I'll also not mention that I wore my camera bag across me and at some point switched from wearing it left to right to right to left and now have a big "X" across my chest.

A Serious Note For a Change...

A few months ago, I posted a few of my favorite quotes and thoughts. One was, “Sometimes good people make bad decisions.” Someone in my life has made a series of incredibly bad decisions lately. I know that eventually he will Google each of us to see if we are talking about him or thinking of him or just what we are up to. So, I want to address this post to this person. It probably won’t make sense to anyone else.

You taught me how to play Tetris (I still f-ing kick ass, BTW), introduced me to U2, bent all the spoons with me when we had the flu, took me to concerts, and let me feel grown up by letting me hang out with you and your friends. I was proud of you on your wedding day and told you so. I was so joyful for your family the day your kids were born.

I have never and could never hate you. I am deeply, deeply saddened and troubled at what has gone on in the last few months. You have absolutely no idea of the devastation your actions have caused to ripple throughout our entire family. Despite your rationale that had you spoken to us first, you could have swayed us to your point of view- that is absolutely untrue. There is nothing you could have possibly said to make any of us see that your actions were justified. THERE IS NO EXCUSE. Period.

You are a good person with a good heart, who has made some incredibly bad decisions. It happens. I pray that you find the peace that you are so desperately seeking. Don’t get me wrong, I am angry with you, but mainly I am just overwhelmingly sad and confused. This is a time when you will need your family, trust me, I know. But you have further pushed everyone away. It doesn’t make any sense.

I know that reading this will probably just make you angrier and think I am trying to be better then you or passive aggressive. But I swear it is the truth. I wish you no ill-will and I hope your gains will be greater then your losses.

Love,
Me

It's Back to Twizzlers and Raisianettes For Me!

Who's ready for another installment of Retro's Dumb Injuries? Well, too bad. I'm going to tell you anyway.

Last Thursday I started to feel a little pain in my jaw. Nothing major just a little soreness. Friday it was much worse. So much worse that I had to take some Advil to get to sleep. When I finally did get to sleep, it was fitful at best. When I would brush my teeth, the area would bleed and the whole right side of my face was hurting. I couldn't make it through Monday without taking Advil.

Because I was avoiding the inevitable news that I have some kind of exceptionally rare disease that is going to cause massive disfiguration, I avoided the dentist. Meanwhile, I'm making out my will (I have a nice TV) and spend all my time telling my face how much I've enjoyed our time together.

Wednesday I was up until 3 AM because the pain wouldn't let me sleep. That voice telling me about the super rare disfiguring disease eating my face off didn't help much either. After a whole 2 1/2 hours sleep, I decided that I had to face the dentist. So I called into work and I made an appointment at the dentists office.

I described to the hygienist how my jaw was hurting from my ear to my temple and everywhere in between. She sort of made a "Hmmm...." sound. It wasn't a good sound. It sounded like, "Hmm....that is really messed up! We're going to have to write an article for Diseases That Eat Your Face Off Monthly about this one!" But she went and got the dentist.

He tilted my chair back and took a look with that big pointy sickle thing they jab at your gums. He started digging and digging and digging....and I'm trying not to cry, because it hurt like a mofo. After what felt like six or seven years of this, he says, "Have you been having popcorn?" 'Oh hell no,' I thought. Yes, that was it. A popcorn kernal had slipped so far down between my gums and tooth that it couldn't come out on its own. That stupid little thing made me think I was going to lose my mugg!

Well, I just felt too stupid. The dentist said, "Don't worry about it. We see this a couple of times a week." That actually did make me feel slightly better. But the thought of taking a whole day off of work because of a peice of popcorn stuck in my gum still makes me feel like a tool. The kicker is that the deductible on my dental insurance is $50. The charge for being stabbing in the gum for 15 minutes? $47. Of course.

Things Only Your Dad Can Ask You

This is a conversation that I could only have with my dad. Anyone else who called me up and asked me this, would hear a rape whistle and and ear-piercing, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed in to the phone.

I can't tell if, as I get older, my parents are getting weirder or I'm just now realizing they are weird.

*Ring! Ring!*

Me: "Hello?"

My dad: "Hi, it's your dad."

"Hi. What's up?"

"Do you like salami?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I've got some salami if you want it."

"Um no. Thanks, though."

"Okay. What about Mr. RK?" (*sidenote: remember Mr. RK and I are separated and he lives someplace else)

"No, he doesn't eat salami. What's with the salami questions?"

"Oh, I bought a salami and I thought we could all share it."

"Thanks, but I think we'lll pass."

"Okay, see ya."*Click*

Knowing my dad like I do, I am sure he bought a salami had two slices, brought it home and my mom proceeded to yell at him in a very Estelle Costanza sort of way, "What am I supposed to do with an entire salami?!?!" Quick thinking Retrodad said, "It's for everyone!" Guaranteed he was on the phone with my brother asking if my 2 1/2 year old niece and nephew like salami.

I think my parents need some hobbies that don't include meat.